April
Poem one of two for poetry month
April is being a pain, a thorn in my side
Something about her watery kisses makes this seem neverending
Once this ordeal is over, there’s another just beyond that hill
The urge to live like a flitting traveller is rising within me again
And what if I never stayed in anyone’s life out of fear
I’m still in their hearts, tucked up in some corner
I’m like Hope, in that jar of Pandora’s
I’ll stay there even after everything grotesque and cruel is gone
April was supposed to be something new but
It looks like I’m digging myself deeper, foot in
Mouth saying all the wrong things, cover it with my
Hands controlled by the impulses I tried to push
Down I dig like in that old story you gave me
Down to the black bath of soil I love
Down to grit that scrapes me to bits
Down past my standards
Down to Hades
And I made it to the outside without looking back at you
I have two feet on the floor again, grass curling up at me
I’m full up again, like I was on that June day of dry grass
I thought I could leave it behind but it’s there
In it’s little home behind my brows again
Waiting for someone to leave my throat unlocked
So it can spew from me in acridity and foulness unbound
Like that wasp that took you home for me
I wish I was writing to be read,
but this is another selfish pastime of mine
Inhale this and exhale it
Go about your day
Hold your head high and look me in the eye
Cradle the trust I’ve placed in you
My heart is a bowl of water
Sits in front of me as I flick matches
Smoke and sizzle, snuffed out
I can’t wait for it all to be over, for the day that
I can lie on my back in the water
scalding my eyes with the sunlight,
With you sitting back on the sand
Pretending you’re not memorising me
But then again
Only fools dream of summer in April

I love the lines where the last word flows into the first word on the line below yk?
Your writing is so good oh my gosh